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The funniest blog I know of:


The man’s name is Peter, he’s a good friend of my former roommate Karl Quickert, and this is my favorite post of his:


Bridgette: “Peter, what does your love for me look like?”

Peter: “What does it look like?”

Bridgette: “Yeah. Like, my love for you looks like all the couples in the world – all of them holding each other. And the sum of their love for each other is how much I love you.”

*long pause*

Peter: “Uhh… My love for you is like a donkey taking a dump. *another pause* But a rainbow is coming out of the donkey’s butt – the biggest, most beautiful rainbow ever. And if you travel to the very end of the rainbow, you find a pot, but the pot is filled with the donkey’s feces. But then you eat the poop, and it tastes like caramel.”

Bridgette wasn’t laughing at this point, so I knew I had likely just made a misstep (that’s probably obvious to any of you currently in a relationship). Unfortunately, my love of awkwardness and alienation meant that the fact that Bridgette wasn’t laughing made the situation funnier to me

According to people I’ve talked to, the Monkey Dung conversation is true.

I’d pray for this man, but seriously, caramel flavored monkey dung?



The guy has already collected 16,000 dollars. I hope he gets the money, and eats the rabbit anyway.

What I should make the U of M conservatives do:


The young republicans were selling bracelets bearing the motto “1 Shot 1
Kill No Remorse I Decide”. A university spokeswoman said that this activity was
not in keeping with Marquette’s Jesuit Mission. A spokesman for the republican group critized the university admistration for being “ultra-liberal.”

More Oscar contenders

Million Dollar Baby

This movie was a mix of annoying and good. Matter of fact, it was an annoying mix of annoying and good. It was nominated for best picture, best director, best actor, best actress, and best supporting actor. I say it was a decent film that had a powerful story, the directing was good enough to win the Oscar, but everywhere else it’s a little shaky. There is a lot of extraneous crap going on in the film that could be cleaned up a little bit. I give it four minions and a bite, which means wait until a friend buys it then eat his popcorn.


Best Picture, Best Actor, hands down. I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Jamie Foxx is superb (It must be a new feeling for him) and this film is a spectacular biography of one of the greatest musicians of our time. It appears to be a true to life biography, and one that doesn’t always paint Ray Charles in the best light, but you get a good idea about the way he handled his troubles, and how important his story is to America. Five Stars, go see it now.

I am 17% Idiot.
Friggin Genius

I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.

32,000 year old life brought back:


A new type of organism discovered in an Arctic tunnel came to life in the lab after being frozen for 32,000 years.

The deep-freeze bacteria could point to new methods of cryogenics, and they are the sort of biology scientists say might exist on Mars and other planets and moons.

“The existence of microorganisms in these harsh environments suggests — but does not promise — that we might one day discover similar life forms in the glaciers or permafrost of Mars or in the ice crust and oceans of Jupiter’s moon Europa,” said Richard Hoover, an astrobiologist at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center.

Colorado is a hotbed for UFO’s:


Wacko Jacko causes death:


The family of a woman who died after being moved out of a trauma room to
accommodate the ailing Michael Jackson plans to sue both the hospital and

Manuela Gomez Ruiz, 74, was transferred out of the main trauma room at the
Marian Medical Centre in Santa Maria, California, when Jackson was rushed in
suffering from “flu-like symptoms” last week.

I always knew the man was a killer.

The guy who invented the intermittent windshield wiper died:


The man who invented intermittent windshield wipers has died at the age of
77. His daughter said Kearns was buried, appropriately enough, on a misty
day when it rained “just enough to have the wipers going on intermittent.”

Kearns patented his intermittent system in 1967 and then demonstrated it for
Ford Motor Co. Eleven years later, when Ford began installing the wipers on new
cars, Kearns sued the automaker and won.

Star Trek losers protest cancellation of “Enterprise”


Carrying signs reading “It’s Not Just a Show, It’s a Responsibility” and “18
Years of Loyalty and This Is the Thanks I Get?,” more than 100 people massed at
the gates of Paramount, where “Enterprise” is produced, to show support for a
franchise that has perhaps the most loyal fan base in the world

Seriously, “Enterprise” did suck.

And finally, there is hope for me yet:

I am 37% Internet Addict.
Slight Internet Addict.

I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck!

Eric Hoplin, GOP party hack, new GOP MN state deputy chair:


Eric Hoplin, chairman of the College Republican National Committee, announced at the press conference the he is running for deputy state Republican Party chairman. A native of Detroit Lakes, he is a 2001 St. Olaf College graduate. Both Pawlenty and Eibensteiner endorsed his candidacy.

It is unfortunate that questionable individuals like Eric Hoplin can have so much success. If I were a more tactless man, I would call Hoplin a scumbag. Maybe I should anyway.

The reason I have such ill regard for Mr. Hoplin is because he was most recently invloved in a scandal involving the College Republicans National Committee (CRNC). Here is an article about that:


The College Republican National Committee is under fire for using front organizations to collect millions of dollars in contributions, including money from elderly people with dementia. During the 2004 campaign, the group sent out direct-mail solicitations under such letterheads as “Republican Headquarters 2004” and “Republican Election Committee.”

One four-page letter asked prospects to send $1,000 together with an American flag pin for President Bush to wear to “Republican Headquarters” to ensure that Bush knows “there are millions who are giving him the shield of God to protect him in the difficult days ahead.” In small print at the bottom of one page, the letter notes: “A project of and paid for by College Republican National Committee.”

Many donors complained that they thought the money was going directly to the Republican Party, and not to the college group, which is no longer affiliated with the GOP

I wrote a controversial column on this subject that is available at the Minnesota Daily website:


My main observation:

What is more unfortunate is that, of all the money collected by the College Republicans this year, only $1 in $10 actually went to the cause of furthering GOP candidates.

The rest of the money raised by the College Republican National Committee went to private vendors and postage for the misleading letters.

Some might call this legitimate. Some would say spending $9 to earn $10, thus gathering a $1 profit, is a sound policy.

But this needs to be compared to how other 527 groups earn and spend their money. Take MoveOn.org. They raised approximately $20 million this year. They spent 93 percent of that on media: TV ads, radio spots, etc.

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth raised approximately $13.7 million; approximately 90 percent of that went toward media.

If those groups can be fiscally responsible, why can’t the College Republicans?

Now we can look forward to seeing this type of political activity from Hoplin where it really counts. I truly hope he cleans up his act, the man was responsible for the first round of infighting between the various Republican groups on campus, and he was partially responsible for the eventual split of the Campus Republicans from the State and National CR boards. While the infighting and the petty campus politics I were involved with are no big deal, the questions about fundraising at the national level are very legitimate.

Seriously, I want this crap out of my party.

I have good news and more good news, the first bit of good news is that the economy is doing better than expected:


WASHINGTON (AP) – The economy clocked in at a 3.8 percent pace in the final quarter of 2004 – faster than initially thought – and is now cruising at that speed or better. That could be good news for jobless people hoping for companies to increase hiring.

In the newest reading on the economy’s fitness, the gross domestic product exceeded a previous estimate of a 3.1 percent annual growth rate for the October-to-December quarter, the Commerce Department reported Friday. GDP measures the value of all goods and services produced within the United States.

The improvement reflected more robust spending by businesses on capital equipment and on inventories of goods. The trade deficit also was less of a drag on fourth-quarter growth than initially thought.

The second piece of good news is that Race to the Right will be back on the air for at least one day on Sunday, 2-4pm March 13 on AM1500, KSTP.

More details at the http://www.racetotheright.com

invisible galaxy
korn guitarist finds god
100 greatest gadgets of all time
to dump, buy underwear that’s too big

I know I should start working on posting on this blog daily. I want to encourage people to read everyday, and in respect for my readers I should have something new for them when they arrive. However, it’s been a busy week. I was in a debate last night, I had a column due, and I’ll be competing in the National Collegiate Handball Championship Tournament this week. The business continues.

However, I wanted to let everyone know, Race to the Right might be back on the air soon. AM1500 KSTP in St. Paul is having a contest where they might give you one show to try to prove yourself, and we’ll be talking to them soon. So, stand by for details.


Great column about the new AIDS virus from Buckley:


The boundaries of the new campaign, let alone the niceties, haven’t been
resolved upon, but not much thought is being given to concerns of privacy.
Murderers need to be stopped, and if this means opening their mail, well — such
things happen and you can take comfort that you may be saving a life.

The objective is to identify the carrier, and to warn his victim.
Someone, 20 years ago, suggested a discreet tattoo the site of which would alert
the prospective partner to the danger of proceeding as had been planned. But the
author of the idea was treated as though he had been schooled in Buchenwald, and
the idea was not widely considered, but maybe it is up now for

I agree with Buckley, the idea that someone can knowingly infect someone else with a lethal disease without consequences is apalling.

I gots a whole lots of stuff for all of you, first, Paul McCartney is a fake Paul McCartney:


That’s awesome, I’ve known for a mong time Paul McCartney was a robot.

Cool Blog:


The first image put on the web:


I am mostly evil genuise:

I am 71% Evil Genius.
Deceitful & Crazy!

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

And Britney Spears is a smoker:


I so very support that.