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  • June 2004
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Well, summer can be a slow time. Feel fortunate while it lasts.

As it is, apes are now getting some revenge on zoo folk, they were given control over air, here’s an excerpt:

At the zoo’s new Regenstein Center for African Apes, chimpanzees can touch a panel hidden from public view that will shoot harmless bursts of air at unsuspecting visitors

Hey, at least they aren’t throwing their crap at you. I know the guy that thought that up was a lib. (http://apnews.myway.com//article/20040626/D83ETTVO0.html)

And speaking of questionably treated primates, a liberal group is sweating after it was revealed that they hire convicted felons to help get out the vote. (http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/V/VOTER_DRIVE_FELONS?SITE=LABAT&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT)

And if you’re keeping electoral college score, Bush is up. See it here: http://home.comcast.net/~gerrydal/index.htm

To round out with another weird animal story, an Iranian woman apparently gave birth to a frog:

“An Iranian newspaper has reported the controversial story of a woman who claims to have given birth to a frog.
The Iranian daily Etemaad says the creature is believed to have grown from larva to an adult frog inside her body.”

So many terrible things I could quip here, but I won’t.


Destroy the UN! And also why not the U of M-tc campus too.

Being bored sucks

Summer sucks

laptops suck when they don’t work

I hate 4 irons

Here’s a neat anecdote about California’s Governor from Roger Ebert

The California governor’s scenes were shot before he took office, and arguably represent his last appearance in a fiction film; if so, he leaves the movies as he entered, a man who shares our amusement at his improbability, and has a canny sense of his own image and possibilities.

I met him back in the ’70s when the documentary “Pumping Iron” was being released, and Mr. Universe was the first of the offices he would hold. I liked him then, I like him now, and I remember that when I introduced the film at the USA Film Festival in Dallas, he greeted the audience and then slipped off to the green room to study his business textbooks. He refused to be dismissed as muscles with an accent, but he got the joke.

Copyright © Chicago Sun-Times Inc.

And PSA, there are now Cell Phone viruses:


Just took a trip to get drunk (for solid moral reasons) to Hibbing, Minnesota. Details will be in the next MartyEmail, but I must tell you, Hibbing is basically like Wisconsin without the cheese.

It sucks there

A few things I wanted to throw out there before I forgot, they’ve found the lost city of Atlantis…again.


Here’s my favorite tribute thus far I’ve found for Ronald Reagan:


And a history of popular slang stuff:


Reagan in Jelly Beans, Bees Knees, and the lost city of Atlantis, just another day on the WWW.

Ronald Reagan died today,

He was a great man, and my prayers are with the Reagan family.

I might now have changed my mind about abortions. A recent Drudge report headline shows that more and more women are having late term abortions if their babies have mild defects such as cleft palate or hand/foot abnormalities. I say why not, if your baby isn’t perfect, I say go ahead and abort it. “What, the baby will have red hair? let’s abort it” “Hey, our baby is going to be at risk to be obese, we don’t want a fat kid, abort that bastard.”

Read the article here: http://www.drudgereport.com/flash4.htm

In fact, this will give us a new class of citizens, I call them SHAT-Bastards [Should Have Aborted That Bastard]. I’m a victim here, I was born with a genetic code that put me at the risk for obesity, I’m going to sue my parents for not aborting me. It’ll be a SHAT-Bastard lawsuit where anyone who isn’t perfect or close to it will sue their parents, or demand a pay out from the government.

Hell, we’re in the right here, if you can abort a baby if you’re poor, why not help a SHAT-Bastard out and abort them if they might be poor too. And just think, the babies that are born from now on can be expected to be perfect. No more below average thinkers, no more weaklings, wouldn’t that just be utopia? Come on America, abort that baby.

And to make sure that those people who do not believe in abortion rights don’t bother you, we’ll make laws that you don’t have to be exposed to opinions that contradict your own, just like they’re starting to do on the British Isles: http://news.scotsman.com/uk.cfm?id=614552004

We’ll make sure that those nutty extremists that dare disagree with the right of a woman to kill their unborn baby can’t get their hateful mail delivered.