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Conservatism: A Philosophy for Living

Ignoring the fact conservatism isn’t really a philosophy, I did want to mention some recent research I’ve been doing on behalf of a liberal coworker of mine. He was trying to tell me liberals we’re happier, better people. Being liberal just makes ya feel good.

Well, after some quick research (involving stealing research from Peter Schweizer’s book “Makers and takers”) I was able to show my coworker wrong. Here’s a summary of the findings:

-Liberals are much more likely to be unhappy (based on numerous surveys). The more conservative, the happier the person.

-Conservatives donate more to charities (even when you control for taxation), they volunteer more hours and are more likely to give to charities that actually help people (over the more public policy oriented non-profits liberals fund).

-Conservatives are less likely to commit suicide

-Liberals are more obsessed with money, more interested in choosing a well paying career over one they enjoyed.

-Conservatives are more likely to get married, have children, practice good parenting, make sacrifices for family members, and they’re even more likely to hug their children (and the hugging thing is based on observation, not on self evaluation).

-Democrats tend to do more of the election fraud (ACORN anyone?)

-Liberals are more likely to cheat on their taxes.

-Conservatives have a better work ethic and call in sick days less often.

-Republican couples have better sex lives and Republican women are more likely to “dress sexy” for their husbands and they’re less likely than their Democrat opposites to fake an orgasm. (Seriously)

-Conservatives also are less likely to do drugs.

-Conservatives also whine less

Take that annoying liberal coworker.

5 Responses

  1. Does that mean your a liberal, bc you sure don’t smile enough.

  2. No, I just have a prominent underbite, that’s why I don’t smile.

  3. you should be smiling bc the Twins have won 9 in a row. I did some Gleeman-like calculations and found that if a team wins 10 games in a row during any stretch of the season, they are more likely to make the playoffs than not. I would have said the Twins had a 20 percent chance of making the playoffs this year. If they win tonight, I’ll have to say they have a more than 50 percent chance. Considering theyre rotating 3B-SS-2B situation and no DH, that’s worth a half smile at least.

  4. Marty,

    You are a Moron!

    Congrats!

    Brian K

  5. Always good to hear from a fan.

Comments are closed.

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