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  • February 2005
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The funniest blog I know of:

http://www.johnlarroquetteproject.com/

The man’s name is Peter, he’s a good friend of my former roommate Karl Quickert, and this is my favorite post of his:

http://johnlarroquetteproject.com/archives/2005/01/07/my-long-suffering-girlfriend/#comments

Bridgette: “Peter, what does your love for me look like?”

Peter: “What does it look like?”

Bridgette: “Yeah. Like, my love for you looks like all the couples in the world – all of them holding each other. And the sum of their love for each other is how much I love you.”

*long pause*

Peter: “Uhh… My love for you is like a donkey taking a dump. *another pause* But a rainbow is coming out of the donkey’s butt – the biggest, most beautiful rainbow ever. And if you travel to the very end of the rainbow, you find a pot, but the pot is filled with the donkey’s feces. But then you eat the poop, and it tastes like caramel.”

Bridgette wasn’t laughing at this point, so I knew I had likely just made a misstep (that’s probably obvious to any of you currently in a relationship). Unfortunately, my love of awkwardness and alienation meant that the fact that Bridgette wasn’t laughing made the situation funnier to me

According to people I’ve talked to, the Monkey Dung conversation is true.

I’d pray for this man, but seriously, caramel flavored monkey dung?

2 Responses

  1. Don’t you mean Donkey Dung?

  2. yes

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